Restoring the Years the Locust Had Eaten

Is your life where you want it to be right now? Have past mistakes brought misery in your life, and left you feeling like there is no hope for the future? I was there once, and I want to let you know that there is hope. Just look at what God has done in my life.

I grew up in a very small community. There were only 400 students in the high school for the entire county. I was much smaller than all the other boys. I was verbally and physically abused by those bigger boys for years. They degraded me in every way possible, and I just wanted to disappear.

After I finally got out of there, I was left with a huge hole in my heart. I was just an empty shell that held a vile solution made up of self-loathing, and hatred. I drank more of that vile solution every day by rehashing what had been done to me, and what I wanted to do to them, to get even.

Even after I moved far away from those people, I carried that hurt and anger like some twisted badge of honor.

I used that hatred to hurt others, and keep them at a distance. Then, I could use the rejection I brought on myself as a justification to keep swallowing more of that vile liquid I lived on.

The people that hurt me so much were hours away, yet the hatred I carried was killing me. It wasn’t hurting them. They didn’t even know where I was.

Joyce Meyer has said that being angry and bitter at someone else is like drinking poison, and expecting it to hurt the other person. That is so true. The vile, bitter, hatred that I carried was poisoning my life, but it wasn’t hurting them.

In August of 1991 I was asked to go to a church service by some friends of my parents. I didn’t want to go, but I had hit rock bottom. I had no place to live, and was about to be kicked out on the street. I had flunked out of college, jumped from job to job, and ran from my past as hard as I could. But, I couldn’t get away from me. Every time I ran to a new place, my situation worsened. Now, I found myself back where I started, close to home, near those people I hated so much.

I had nothing else to do, so, I agreed to go. On the way to the church, I prayed silently for God to let me die.

During the worship service, a thought came into my head. It said, “You have tried things your way, and have failed. You made a mess of your life. Give me a chance”. I fought back tears, and just tried my best to look cool and together.

Shortly after that, the pastor of the church stood up and said that God was telling him that somebody there had made of a mess of their life, and God would restore, if they would give Him a chance. I couldn’t believe it. It was almost word for word what I had just heard.

I practically ran to that alter. For the first time in nearly 10 years, I actually cried. In fact, I cried so much that my shirt collar was soaked. The tears just wouldn’t stop. I asked Jesus to forgive me for all my mistakes. I told God that I didn’t have much of a life to give Him, but what I had, He could use as He saw fit.

A few days later, I talked with my parents. They noticed something different about me, and offered to let me move back in, while I got on my feet. God gave a job at a factory, and things started looking up. But, guilt over my past, and concern for my future still haunted me.

God gave me a scripture, Joel 2:25. That scripture says, “I will repay you for the years the locust have eaten, the great locust and the young locust, the other locust, and the locust swarm – my great army that I sent among you”. I knew that God was going to restore the years that sin had ravaged my life.

The factory that I was working at was moved to Mexico, and when I was laid off, God opened the door for me to go back to school. I eventually finished my bachelors degree, and was able to get a masters degree.

Even more important than restoring my lost educational opportunities, God helped me to forgive the people that had hurt me. I found my peace in forgiving them. I no longer carry that hatred, and now I have wonderful relationships. I don’t sabotage relationships, and I no longer see myself as a powerless victim of other’s cruelty. Now I see myself as a child of God.

The pain that I endured has allowed me to minister to others. It has allowed me to reach people that nobody else could. So, God took what was meant for evil, and used it for His glory.

He truly has restored the years that the locust had eaten.