Dicotomy

There are times that your own mortality stares you in the face. It isn’t always just the death of a loved one. Sometimes, it can be as simple as driving down the freeway, or standing in line at the grocery store.

This weekend was one of those times for me. As I stood in line at Walmart, drove to a photo shoot in downtown High Point, and drove through a very wealthy neighborhood on the way to take pictures at an event, it hit me.

All of these events spoke the same message. I am but one person among nearly 6 billion in this world. Nobody will remember how much money I made, what pretty photographs I took, or how well I played tennis. I am like a single rain drop in the middle of a raging hurricane.

At the same time that I am impacted by just how insignificant I am, I am reminded of how much I influence those around me. Not only am I an ambassador for Christ, I have been placed in the position of a teacher, and I often mentor photographers beyond the classroom setting. I may be only one person, but I am charged with the responsibility of helping develop the talent in many around me.

There are times that the weight of that responsibility seems to crash down on me, and then I think about what Paul said in Philippians chapter 4 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. If I take the weight of that responsibility on my shoulders, I will fail. I am human, and I make too many mistakes. I have to simply do what God has placed in front of me to do, and leave the responsibility for it in God’s hands. My job is to obey, put forth my best effort, pray for God’s anointing, and leave the results to God.

The same goes for raising my son. I have been struggling to connect with him, and desperately trying to find something for us to do together. As Joel goes into his teen years, I don’t want to lose touch with him.

If I worry about how to keep that bond, and try and do it in my strength, I will fail. If I trust God, and put forth my best effort, God will insure that it turns out well. What a freedom there is in living that way. I just do my best at what God has given me to do, and leave the results to God. I only bear the responsibility for putting forth my best effort.

I just pray that God helps me to keep my eyes on Him, and not on myself. Like most people, if I am not careful, I can be so concerned with my own problems that I ignore those in need that are all around me. As my pastor says “It aint about me”.