Raising an Autistic Son - Daily Struggles

I love Joel, and most of the time, he is a wonderful kid. But, his autism does cause some issues. He struggles in social situations that most of us take for granted. Those issues make it difficult for me to have a social life, and add to the isolation that I am already struggling with as a single parent.

For example, I wanted to attend church on Wednesday nights. That means that Joel needed to go to the youth service. Joel did not do well in the youth service, and came to me crying. It was too loud, and he doesn’t do well in loud situations. He said it was “horrible”. I gave him some foam earplugs, but it still was too loud for him. Most kids like the loud music, but not Joel.

So, I am left with 2 choices. I can either make Joel go, and expect to get interrupted during the service, or stay home. The only other option is to pay for a babysitter, which I don’t have the money to do.

A small part of me resents Joel’s autism, and his inability to function socially at the level that he should for his age. Then, I feel guilty for feeling that way about my son. I love Joel so much, and I want him to enjoy being with other Christians his own age.

I also wonder how much Joel's problems at church are his autism, and how much they are his mother's influence. She hates anything to do with church, or any other thing of God. Is she poisoning Joel's mind so much that he has made up his mind he won't like it, before he really gives it a chance?

I even sometimes wonder if Jane’s bipolar tendencies are part of what Joel is struggling with. Bipolar does have a very strong genetic component, and that thought is so frightening. Bipolar disorder destroyed our family.

Despite his problems, Joel has a lot of gifts. He is very loving to those he is really close to. He is incredibly intelligent, can think outside of the box, and is very creative.

When Joel is into something, he devours every bit of information he can find on that subject. He becomes a subject matter expert, very quickly. Hopefully, as Joel enters adulthood, he will be able to utilize that skill set, while being able to get around his social struggles.

As a single parent, I need social interaction. Joel’s problems make it difficult to get that interaction, which adds to the isolation that single parents naturally feel.

I don’t know how I am going to balance this quandary, but I know that God has an answer.